Day 17 being gluten-free
Day 17 was the first time I almost missed the deadline to workout for that day. I was super sleepy and didn’t have the energy to cook diner, so I ate about 2-3 servings of Turkish figs. I was supposed to cook my soup for the week, but I have this rule to not cook sleepy to avoid me falling asleep and possibly causing a fire. I made the right call to not cook because I took a nap shortly after I ate the figs. When I opened my eyes, my first thought was, “I missed my workout for the day.” I looked at my watch and it was around 11:35 pm and I I did my workout around 11:40 pm. I usually workout first thing in the morning, and moving forward, I need to stick to this routine.
Me working out caused me to fully be awake and I ended up looking at suggested youTube videos. I stumbled on a youTube channel by the name of “Alivia D’Andrea.” The title of the youTube post that I watched was “How food addition ruined my life I Glow up Diaries Season 2, Episode 1. “ Just the title alone had me hooked in. I personally suffer from food addiction and had a major setback just a few weeks ago. For 37 minutes and 22 seconds, I truly connected to EVERYTHING she was experiencing and the struggles of losing weight. I know some people personally who do not see food at something to be “addicted” to and that people like me are just making excuses for why we cannot get back to a healthier weight.
What I resonated from watching this post was her binge eating episodes. I have been binge eating for most of my life. This destructive behavior starts from childhood and I personally don’t want to speak about the backstory right now, but it was so amazing to see someone else struggling with it in a VERY similar matter that I did. I have been vegan for a little over 4 years now, and my weight fluctuations are in connections to binge periods that have gotten out of control. When I started getting in the alkaline aka Dr. Sebi lifestyle, I noticed that the weight lose was better and the cravings were better under control. But I am sure I am not alone by saying this, but 2020 was a major mind f@#k. I started binging around mid April of 2020, and being in the house all day didn’t help. The binge lasted for months, and by the time I realized my weight was getting out of control, the damage was done. In the Summer of 2020, I did make attempts to get the quarantine weight off, but my food addition to vegan processed food kept dragging me down.
I don’t mean to demonize processed food, and as a matter of fact, I don’t plan to give up all processed food once I reach my fitness goals and ideal body weight. However, if I could have done 2020 all over again, I wish I have made healthier food choices. I knew I was under a lot of stress and tend to overeat when I am overwhelmed. It would have been a lot wiser to have picked up an apple instead of a bag of chips. With all the knowledge I have about food and nutrition, why did I allow myself to get so fat again? There are so many good quotes from this youTube post that you can take away from, but here is one that really made me think. “For so long I looked into the mirror and only saw my surface body image and that was the problem. I failed to identify the deeper issues...”
Remember my post from day 13? I mentioned that there is “gluten” in our energy. To be more exact, there is ‘toxic gluten” in our energy that needs to be removed. We need to remove the things in our life that are no longer serving us. I know of some of my problems, and some of my triggers, but it’s time to really get behind the root to this. I am so tired of this unhealthy relationship with me and food. I would like to end this blog from a quote that was in this youTube post from Robert Augustus Masters, “The healing of pain is found in pain itself. Contrary to what we tend to believe, the more intimate we are with our pain, the less we suffer.”